Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I need to wash the frat house off of me
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Randomize
