Buhtt sex?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
