I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
