There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
