how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Randomize
