I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
