Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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