walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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