I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Is it penis luge time yet?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
