first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
