My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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