I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Randomize
