i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
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