Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
