Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
