Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
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