They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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