To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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