I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
