I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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