WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I think my moral compass just broke
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
