P.S. I can't hear my feet
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
We are two peas in an std pod
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize