just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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