Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
