I am in a vortex of obligation.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize