He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize