I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
