Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
