I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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