Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
