Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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