Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
