i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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