Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
