So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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