i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
