Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
