Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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