I just pynch a tree in the face
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
