I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
