this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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