hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
