i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
