Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
