He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
