Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
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