Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize