I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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