I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I fill condoms, not promises.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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