dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize