she peed on how many people?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
