I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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