Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
