We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
