I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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