i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
