He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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