Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
