i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
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