yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
