Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
