I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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