hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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