Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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