That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
