Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize