me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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