I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
