new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
