He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
ttyl tear gas
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
