it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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