It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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