is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
